A Tale of two trails: City slacking and the Beast of the Beacons

A few months ago I was lamenting my lethargy after failing to make it to the start line of the Winter Spine Challenger. My Winter malaise culminated in a slovenly descent into my dear old friend, the sofa dwelling sloth but, on reflection, this was exactly what was required and was the perfect tonic.

I love the convenience of blaming anything or anyone other than myself. “I was injured”, “I had a cold”, “it’s someone else’s fault” is much easier to accept than “I was on my sofa watching Gladiators eating Haribo”. When things land squarely on your shoulders, it’s not an easy pill to swallow but it’s also the best medicine.

Over the last month or so, I have found my running mojo, and, with renewed vigour, and some good time to reflect and re-regroup, I am back on the trails, building up my fitness in prep for my biggest challenge on the horizon, the Amazon jungle.

As part of the prep I had a couple of events in the diary to remind my legs of what running is.

First up a couple of weeks ago, I tackled the Queen of the Suburbs ultra marathon – a gentle, flat and civilised 50km in my London suburb of Ealing.

I spent most of the run chatting to various runners and taking in the sights. Around the half-way mark, I settled into the same pace as a fellow Welshman called Tom, who was good company. He mentioned that he hadn’t run more than a half marathon distance before and that this was now officially his longest run. I congratulated him on the achievement and after an hour or so, I realised that Tom had officially crawled into the pain cave; he had the tell-tale signs of a runner in pain, losing the desire to speak (or perhaps that was my company), etching a grimace on his face and slowing his pace so I politely said my goodbyes and wished him luck for the rest of the race. The course was a scenic jaunt through Ealing’s parks and canals - lovely views, flat as a pancake and a little mild for my palette so I found the last hour or so a little bit of a slog as my mind turned to a post-run snack.

Eventually, time yielded and the Chinese water torture was over. My time was nothing to write home about but I kept a comfortable, even pace throughout and got some good miles in for the first time in months and finished up in my favourite cafe with a smile on my face and energy to spare, so, all in all, a great day.

The Beast of The Beacons

If the Queen of the Suburbs was a latte - quite lovely, gentle and, dare I say it, - a little bland for my taste - the Beast of the Beacons was a stiff shot of whiskey; A little rough and this one was going to burn. As Val Kilmer said to Warwick Davis in Willow, "it's good for you. This will put hair on your chest".

Fast forward a couple of weeks from my milky little city stroll and the Beast was calling with Storm Kathleen ready to treat us to some fitting weather conditions. After an aborted walk up Pen y Fan the day before the event and virtually being blown back down to the car park in 40 mile an hour winds, I knew that The Beast was going to live up to it’s name! The 40 mile course “boasted” almost 8000 feet of climbing, more mud than the average winter Sunday league football pitch and a stunning jaunt through the Welsh mountains.

I was reliably informed from three different parties that there were either 47, 49 or 51 runners doing the 40 miler and we also had a 20 mile and 10 mile course so there was a variety of experiences on the go with a relaxed feel to the event that made me feel right at home.

Our safety briefing was primarily focussed on not sh*tting on farmers’ land if caught short – an unfortunate event the preceding year had left the organiser fielding irate calls from the landowner, who was insistent that the unwelcome package they discovered was from a Beast of the Beacons runner. Probably about right and when you have to go, you have to go. But best not land it in someone else's drive.

These words of wisdom taken on board, we set off. My newly hired running coach and fellow runner (and predictably, event winner) from the Shan Tian Mountain Ultra in Kyrgyzstan, aptly named “Jon Shield” – a fitting name for a superhero with a running ability and mentality to match – was also running. Think David Goggins but incredibly British and you are on the right lines. Jon Shield set off like a lunatic - his trademark move - sprinting out of the starting gate like he’s a 400 metre runner. Unlike Jon Shield (with a name like Jon Shield, you always need to address him by his full name), I cannot sprint for 7 hours straight and like to finish my events without hospitalisation so within a hundred yards he was disappearing on the horizon and I happily settled into an easy rhythm.

I got chatting to another fellow runner called Jess who was along for the ride with Jon Shield and, similarly left in his dirt. Jess epitomises the ultra running community – down to earth, open and a lover of being outside and connecting with nature. We joked about not being able to tap into competitive mindset unlike the always ultra competitive Jon Shield and after a few miles of chatting we parted and I continued on the course alone. We had a big old climb to the top of the hills and, whilst not quite in the Jon Shield/David Goggins win-at-all-costs bracket, at some point around then something switched for me mentally and I steadily started over-taking a number of runners that had eased past me with my leisurely start to the race.

My girlfriend Becky was with me in Wales and was admirably attempting to meet me at checkpoints. She successfully nailed the first attempt with checkpoint 1 but I was ahead of schedule so we were two ships in the night. At the halfway mark, I spotted her in the car with a wave as I passed – she couldn’t find a parking spot so I decided to grab a drink and a snack and meet her out front with a coffee with a swift pit stop of a couple of minutes. At this stage, Becky was nowhere to be seen so I set off for my second 20 mile loop. At this stage, there are strong rumours that Becky was seen sprinting down the road after me a couple of minutes later to wish me luck for the rest of the race but with my new found competitive spirit I unwittingly burned Becky for pace, a sore point for her in the following days and one I am happy to remind her at any opportune moment.

This was a dog friendly event and one of my favourite moments was seeing one of the event volunteers taking on the 10 mile course sternly talking to his three dogs with instructions to not to “pull to the left you daft sods”. With poetic timing, this was swiftly followed by a strong, collective pull to the left. Needless to say that the dogs were comfortably on their feet with our mate the volunteer having less luck, involuntarily forming a Superman pose as he glided down the muddy hillside, which made for much entertainment as I made my way back up the same hill, at the start of my second 20 mile loop.

We digress. This run was incredibly challenging with most runners caked in mud after multiple falls in pretty treacherous conditions, which was coupled with some steep ascents/descents and all of the weather the Welsh mountains could throw at us. I’ll be honest, I loved almost every minute for the first 5 hours but started to struggle with a couple of hours to go. I got into a similar pace to another runner with us taking in turns to overtake each other and never lose site so we eventually decided to run alongside each other and chat for a while. His name was Seb and, after 5 minutes I realised he was completely out of my league and was taking this one easy. Last year he finished second in this event and had just qualified for UTMB (google it if you care – think the London marathon for ultra runners). He was the real deal and it was cool to hear about his experiences and achievements. Hanging out with Seb was a great distraction from the throbbing pain I was now feeling in the majority of my muscles with my competitive exploits catching up on me. I managed to style it out and pretend everything was fine and eventually we were back on the canal and onto the final stretch of the event – pretty much our only road on the course – with a joint finish across the line.

Seb and I finished the 40 mile course in a smidgen over 8 hours and came in joint 6th in the overall race. Predictably, Jon Shield came in 1st and got a new course record. Jess also smashed it and finished joint second female.

I’d given this one a really good go and my body was extremely grateful for me stopping so with wobbly legs I sat down to a quick, celebratory curry to reflect on the day.

Finishing this one felt incredible and it reminded me that I LOVE running and that there is no place I would rather be than a wet, windy hill in Wales. Sometimes it’s easy to forget but this sport fills my soul and brings me a sense of gratitude and awe that is hard to find in the day to day of life.

Eating my rather bland but very welcome curry (the poppadum was a good touch), I had a sense of peace and quiet satisfaction, which, on reflection, had been with me not only in the event but also in the build-up, right from the get-go since my very recent, sofa dwelling-Gladiators-watching-Haribo eating-past, a few short months ago.

So what's changed? Well, sometimes there is quiet dignity in accepting that not every endeavour or ambition is not "successful" and that, like the ocean tide, life brings you ebs and flows.

The result here - in the Winter Spine, the Queen of the Suburbs or the Beast of the Beacons, was not the measure of success and sometimes you have to ride the waves, accepting that the ocean will always be the boss. In the past, my emotions have gone along for the ride with my identity and self worth on the line and, of course, there is every chance that the tide will take me right back to where I started.

To quote my favourite Stoic, Marcus Aurelius, a noble goal is “to accept it without arrogance, to let it go with indifference.”

And with a flippant turn of historical pace from ancient Rome to Hollywood, as the legendary Bruce Lee put it “Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way ’round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves” .

Life is not static – it is unpredictable and everchanging and often my most difficult challenges are self-made and internalised, balancing the full range of positive and negative emotions life brings.

There is freedom in letting go of emotions and expectations. Learning to stay centred and neutral, to be flexible and to go with the flow means we can ride the waves of emotion and circumstance, coming out stronger.

Sometimes, letting go helps you find another way through. Be water my friend.

Above: Beast of the Beacons paincave

Below: Beast of the Beacons start line with Jon Shield and Jess

Below: Windy, muddy mountain fun